Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Carnage. Christmas 2009. (Warning: images may be disturbing)




Greetings.

Well, Addie still hates Santa Claus and this time it happened again during a Christmas gathering. If you compare last year with this year, well, she has put a complete finish to the guy and I have no idea where the eyeball came from.

When we returned from our walk, there it was. Again. The carnage. Santa Claus torn asunder and askew.

This time, in an attempt to keep the horror to ourselves, I deflected my friends directly into the kitchen where I could way lay them with egg nog (low fat) while my friend did the "assessment and clean up". Addie was obviously exhausted from the entire affair.

"Addie", I said.

She said nothing but stared back at me with the vacant look of a killer and indeed what could be more cold-hearted then to rip apart that sacred symbol of relentless capitalism? The man who has sold everything to us from purple rhomboidal shaped plastic storage boxes to foreclosed homes. He sells and sells and sells Santa does.
He sells his little heart out. You give him or his company money then you can do with what you bought whatever you want. Santa does not really gives a rats ass...just
shop at the stores where he sits in his fake beard...and buy buy buy.

Yes and some of you have asked. "What if Addie sees a person dressed up as Santa Claus? Will we in fact have to deal with the same...?" Perish the thought from your minds. Unless they make 6 foot stuffed Santa Claus dog toys, I doubt it (but this does conjure an image...). Please people, settle down. Your blessed and sacred symbol of overconsumption and crap made from China that you then give to the people you love will remain untouched. Her aggression against capitalism stops at Santa Claus dog toys made of course, in China.

Quietly we collect the pieces of Santa Claus and discreetly carry him down to the garbage where he will be placed gently within a huge pile of super glossy unsolicited catalogs and here will be his proper burial.

Do we buy her another Santa Claus toy? Alas.

Merry Christmas All You Anti-Corporate Subversive Dogs. Oh Yea Tailed Heros of the New Era.

God Bless You. Each and Every One.

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